Irish Comedy Writer Arrested At Airport, Security Dogs Trained To Sniff Out Satire

LONDON — Travelers at Heathrow Airport were treated to a dramatic display of British law enforcement this week when five armed police officers successfully detained Irish comedy writer Graham Linehan, whose most dangerous weapon appeared to be an "X" account.

Authorities say the arrest was made possible by a new specialized K9 unit trained to sniff out satire, sarcasm, and anything that makes bureaucrats uncomfortable. “These dogs can detect irony at up to 200 feet,” boasted one officer, while his German Shepherd growled menacingly at a passenger making a dad joke about airport food.

Witnesses report Linehan was escorted from the terminal after failing to declare several undeclared puns in his carry-on bag. “I saw them confiscate three tweets and a knock-knock joke,” said one traveler. “They treated it like he was smuggling a live grenade.”

British officials defended the operation, insisting that cracking down on jokes is more urgent than addressing petty crime. “Knives and drugs can wait,” explained a spokesperson. “Right now, the biggest threat to public safety is comedy that isn’t government-approved.”