Man Cuts Lawn With Scythe and Videos It for Attention

Columbus, Ohio - Neighbors say they weren’t impressed when local man Jared Thompson, 34, dramatically swung a medieval scythe across his front yard grass, filming the entire process for TikTok.

“It took him three hours to do what a mower does in twenty minutes,” said one neighbor, rolling her eyes. “And now we all have to hear about how it’s ‘sustainable’ and ‘ancestral.’”

Thompson, who recently described himself online as a “grass reaper and content creator,” claims his method is more eco-friendly, though witnesses noted he drove a gas-guzzling pickup to buy imported kombucha afterward.

The resulting video, set to ominous Gregorian chanting, has gained 17 likes. Thompson insists it’s “not about the numbers.”

When asked if he’ll continue the practice, Thompson nodded solemnly and said, “My ancestors demand it.”