U.S.
NEW YORK — State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani stunned reporters today by issuing a direct challenge to Donald Trump: settle political differences with a public Beyblade battle. “Talk is cheap. Let it rip,” Mamdani declared, slamming his launcher onto a folding table outside Trump Tower. “If he wins, I’ll endorse him.
Politics
KYIV — In a historic twist, former President Donald Trump showed up to Ukraine peace negotiations armed not with diplomats or policy advisors, but with a battered deck of UNO cards, announcing that whoever wins “best of seven” will get Crimea. “UNO is a tremendous game, maybe the best game,” Trump
Politics
In a move described by insiders as both “bold” and “breadstick-fueled,” Former Vice President Kamala Harris and the Democratic National Committee have finalized a handshake agreement to cover a staggering $20.5 million in outstanding debts. The bills, sources confirm, are not campaign expenses in the traditional sense but rather
U.S.
BROOKLYN, NY — State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani (D-Queens) is facing his toughest opponent yet: the barbell. At a community event billed as “Politics Meets Powerlifting,” Mamdani attempted to bench press a modest load in front of constituents. Unfortunately, gravity—a staunchly bipartisan force—had other plans. Eyewitnesses say Mamdani lowered the