Taylor Swift Watches Chiefs vs. Eagles Behind Bulletproof Barrier, Hires Blacksmith to Forge Armor for Next Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Pop superstar Taylor Swift was spotted at the Chiefs vs. Eagles game Sunday watching from behind what witnesses described as a “bulletproof barrier”.

In preparation for the next game, sources say Swift has hired a blacksmith from rural Missouri to forge her a custom suit of armor. The craftsman, known only as “Jedidiah the Hammer,” promised that the set will be “stylish, yet functional” — featuring bedazzled pauldrons, chainmail with sequined tassels, and a helmet big enough to hold a microphone in case she wants to perform “Love Story” at halftime.

NFL officials, meanwhile, insist the league had nothing to do with the security upgrade. “We did not ask Ms. Swift to arrive in a fortified carriage,” said commissioner Roger Goodell. “But if it helps her stay safe from rabid fans, conspiracy theorists, or Eagles supporters, we’re all for it.”