Trump Announces Strike on Venezuelan Drug Boat, Coast Guard Confirms It Was Just a Carnival Cruise
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Donald Trump proudly declared that the U.S. military had struck a Venezuelan vessel “packed with massive amounts of drugs, the biggest shipment anyone’s ever seen.”
The Coast Guard, however, later clarified that the “drug boat” in question was actually a Carnival Cruise ship returning from the Bahamas, carrying nothing more dangerous than daiquiris and bingo cards.
“They had cocktails, they had buffets, they had the little shrimp towers — which, by the way, are very suspicious,” Trump told supporters. “Could’ve been drugs. We had to be tough. Nobody’s tougher on cruise ships than me.”
Passengers initially mistook the chaos for a themed event, with many cheering and waving pool noodles until the Navy helicopters accidentally vaporized the steel drum band.
